Wake Up, Greece!
by candy4yourEYEZ
Summary: Japan walks in on Greece, but he won't wake up! What is a man to do! Crack fic


Japan walked into Greece's house, not bothering to knock, because the other nation was probably asleep again.

And so he was. In a rather awkward position. Or, at least, awkward for Japan to walk in on.

"Heracles-san?" He asked, shaking Greece' shoulder (really, how did that man manage to fall asleep while sitting on a _couch_? Not to mention that one hand had slid down from his stomach and was no resting on his… Ahem. Japan really shouldn't be thinking such things… However, Japan's mental purity non-withstanding, he was glad that the clothes he was wearing were loose…). But he didn't wake up. "Heracles-san?" Japan repeated nervously, gripping the man harder in a vain attempt for him to return to the world of the living.

Oh, holy ramen noodles. He. Wasn't. Waking. Up. Was he actually dead or something? Well, there were no obvious bloodstains, and Japan doubted that Greece would have been so out of it that he accidentally inhaled some poisonous household cleanser (although a recent rumor had been spread that America had fapped with Windex, so who knew anymore? Oh, definitely not Japan, who's mental image maker was quite certainly was not imagining America fapping to pictures of Canada, or America spending time with his _darling brother, _because twincest was not hot, it was illegal and… Fuck, Japan _was_ extremely glad of his loose clothes. He'd have to find a private room and some yaoi doujinshi later…).

So, returning to the previous topic. Greece wasn't waking up. Japan could think of several options to help him, though.

Option A: cook something Greece liked, and hope that the smell woke him up

Option B: pinch his nose until he ran out of air- but Prussia had done that to him at a world meeting before, and he just sat there, not breathing, until they all realized that he wasn't breathing through his mouth, and freaked out while trying to wake him up.

Option C: see if sexual advances while he was asleep would work. He did, after all, have the highest percentage…

… The reason for Japan's over joy at loose clothes was insisting on Option C, and Japan's sane brain wasn't disagreeing. Because hell, it wasn't like Hungary had cameras in _this_ house.

But first, he'd make sure that Greece was actually alive, and hadn't… died in his sleep or something. Because necrophilia… (well, not saying it wasn't hot, but Japan preferred to think of it as 'cracking open a cold one') Japan sighed. Damn. He was even harder now.

"Heracles-san," he gave him one last chance to respond, before laying his head to Greece's chest to hear the other man's heartbeat. And that was no easy task, considering the mounds of cats surrounding him

Which was… slower than America's efforts to stop global warming. Which was saying something. Japan wasn't sure exactly what it was saying, but he knew it meant that he had to revive Greece, by any method possible. Even though with Greece's heart rate so abnormally slow, he doubted that his 'sexual advances' plan would work. Damn. Well, he'd try that the next time he walked in on Greece sleeping.

"Rice balls!" Japan shrieked, before hastily trying to resuscitate Greece. "It's not working!" He had a mini heart attack after all his efforts had gone to waste. Greece was still asleep! "Wait… I think he still has the defibrillator that we used on his cat once!" Japan ran to the other room, and came back with it. Thankfully it had already been charged, because it's always best to be prepared. He held the paddles over Greece's (now-shirtless) chest, tried to concentrate on the task at hand instead of Greece's well-toned stomach and the fact that his tan seemed to be full body… No, Japan, get your mind out of the gutter! Japan shook his head (like that would help), and counted aloud to no one in particular.

"Three, two, one… clear!" and brought the paddles down on Greece's chest, trying his best not to accidentally shock any of the cats, because defibrillator marks would be exceedingly difficult to explain to a veterinarian.

Greece immediately opened his eyes and sat up, rubbing the back of his head. "Oh, Kiku. What *yawn* happened? And why are you holding the defibrillator?" He looked sort of dazed, but was alive. For now.

"I came in, and you didn't wake up. Drastic measures were necessary," Japan replied, neatly putting the equipment back from where it had come. "I've always told you that sleeping too much is bad for you. If you sleep too much, then your heart rate can become dangerously low." He shook his head, as if silently shaming the people who had nothing better t do with their short lives than sleep.

"Well then, how can I repay you for waking me up? Because I can think of several ways..." Greece's eyes had traveled downwards from Japan's face, and suddenly Japan realized that his clothes might not have been as loose as he'd thought. Shit.

"Umm, well," Japan stuttered, before Greece grabbed him, slung him over his shoulder, and started for the bedroom.

"I'm afraid I'm not quite awake just yet. You may have to help me."

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

I realized that I had written no Giripan, and that this was an atrocity that needed to be remedied. Does anyone else want to try restarting a car with a defibrillator?

The highest percentage: my friend showed me something that listed on average, the frequency of sexual activities in different. Greece was #1; I think France was #2.


End file.
